The following was posted this morning and I thought
appropriate to share as it relates to some issues. (The
Plus One was added.)
Criticism is inevitable. At certain
times we will all face another person’s analysis or rebuke of our behavior. The
best kind of criticism comes from friends, from those who know us and love us
best. “Better is open rebuke than hidden love. Faithful are the wounds of a
friend; profuse are the kisses of an enemy” (Proverbs 27:5-6). In his little book True Friendship, Vaughan Roberts offers
three tips for responding to criticism, and especially this kind of
criticism—the kind that comes in the context of friendship, of iron
sharpening iron.
Expect It
We should expect criticism. We
should expect criticism because we are sinful, so far from the holiness God
requires and so far from the holiness we desire. If anything we ought to be
surprised that we receive so little criticism. We should also expect criticism
because friendships—especially close friendships—invite it. Criticism may arise
from a negative spirit, but it can also arise from love. Our best friends must
have an open invitation to offer criticism of our lives. Is there no one in
your life who offers you critical feedback? Then it may be that you have chased
off your friends by responding poorly and pridefully in the past. Expect to be
criticized from time to time, and give your friends an open invitation to
do so.
Examine It
“To see what is in front of one’s nose
needs a constant struggle.”
When we receive criticism, and especially when that
criticism stings or seems outrageous, we need to examine it to see if it is
true. It may be that our friends have a faulty perspective, but it may be that
they have a better perspective that we do. George Orwell was right when he
said, “To see what is in front of
one’s nose needs a constant struggle.” Humility admits that others may
see what we cannot or will not see ourselves. Roberts says, “We should
resist the instinctive temptation to defend ourselves or attack the critic, but
rather consider whether there is truth in what is being said.” Prayerfully
examine that criticism to see if it is true and fair.
Endure It
There will be times the criticism
will be painful but true. In such times, we will need to endure that criticism
as we respond to it by making changes to our lives. There are times the
criticism will sting because we come to believe the criticism is unfair. In
either case, we need to keep ourselves from responding in kind or lashing out
at the one who criticized us. We must resist the temptation to gossip about
that person or to sever the friendship. Far better, we must endure criticism
just as Christ Jesus patiently endured all the criticism that was heaped upon
him. As always, as ever, he is our model.
Plus One – Ignore It
For some this seems to be their
response….which, as you know, solves nothing…and often delays the inevitable.
Posted on Challies.com March 05, 2014
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